Stavros Flatley.

I'm scared. Very scared. I just signed into facebook, only to be greeted with a suggestion. Apparently 16 of my friends 'like' Stavros Flatley, thus qualifying me as a potential 'liker'. But I won't like them, I don't like them. I didn't think anyone actually liked Stavros Flatley, I thought they were just around and people were aware of them, a bit like lamp-posts or meningitis. Nobody likes Meningitis.

The one unique aspect of Stavros Flatley is that they are Cypriot. That's it. Anyone can fucking river dance, even Heather Mills can river dance. So this tubby twosome have got the river dancing Cypriot market all to themselves, but is it even worth having that? Who wants to watch that? It's not a great spectator sport, it probably falls somewhere between cricket and flea fights (effectively cock-fighting, but with smaller chickens). Stavros Flatley have now carved themselves a nice little career out of this, people queue up to buy tickets for their shows. Has society really fallen to these depths? What happened to theatre, art, opera, TV? Are we seriously living in a country where watching fat blokes dance is the best entertainment we can muster? I hate this world sometimes, it's moments like this that set me off. I become painfully aware of the drooling idiot hole we've collectively dug ourselves, we're now standing right on the edge, precariously balanced in between insanity and eternal damnation. I'd choose Hell every time, mind you, Stavros Flatley are probably touring there in November.